Because what I have tragically found is that Christian singles hit an area of desperation, particularly young women, and they will go: “Yeah, he is a Christian, he comes to church.” And really what they’re saying is this guy comes to church a couple of times a month, but outside of attending a service, he doesn’t have a real seriousness about growing in his understanding of the Lord, growing in his understanding of the Bible, being a prayerful person, no vivication or mortification that can be spotted, and no one who really knows them enough to speak to the growth in their character.
Now practically speaking, this means singles are seeking out people to speak into their lives.
The time to think through any potentially perilous situation is before it happens. If holding to your values is important to you, take time to identify them before you start dating. Many awkward and compromising situations can be avoided by simply being honest with your date about your standards.
If you traveled to a large city, you would get clear directions to your exact destination so you don’t end up in an unsafe area. If your dating partner resists your efforts to be true to your beliefs, then do yourself a favor—gracefully bow out. When facing any challenge, it helps to know you are not alone.
To help find the right questions, we called on three not-yet-married friends who gave some time to thinking about the challenges faced by singles: Lore Ferguson, Paul Maxwell, and the recently engaged Marshall Segal.
We ended up with these questions: The Bible commands Christians to marry “in the Lord,” that is, to marry other Christians (1 Corinthians ; 2 Corinthians ).
But in a day when so much nominalism passes for authentic maturity, give us a few simple marks of spiritual growth that a man or woman should be looking for in a potential spouse.
I think what you are looking for is seriousness about growth in the person’s faith.
He always lets the girl know where he stands so she feels secure and isn’t left guessing.
Know what you’re doing and either stick with the plan or go somewhere safe, where you’re in the sight of others (particularly others who respect the need for purity).
You can still have a private conversation even in a room full of people.
Other times, guys find out I’m a Christian and automatically assume I’m uptight and judgmental.
The stereotypes get old.” Of course, the problems don’t disappear when Christians choose to date only other Christians.
Spontaneity is one of the most important things to work on when dating normally. The element of surprise is always welcome, but you do not want to surprise her in a negative manner.