Yet if the very thing you’re attracted to never leads to the relationship of your dreams, don’t you think it may be wise to make some adjustments? You’d make adjustments if you didn’t feel good about your body on January 1st. You’d make adjustments if you were only looking for jobs on and it never got you a job. Should it be any news that it’s the one arena in which you struggle the most? I know a little bit about a lot and can pretty much hold my own in any cocktail party conversation. She's a hard-news reporter and Web producer who craves intellectual stimulus outside of her job.When a guy can't keep up with her as she discusses the news, debates the merits of legal reforms, and cracks sarcastic, witty jokes, she notices that she immediately gets turned off.While your mom or dad may have lectured you about the birds and the bees, they may not have given you such a clear directive on the types of emotional or personality characteristics to look for as you try to find a partner.Among the traits that matter most are the degree to which a person is or isn’t intellectual.You have to think a lot about how similar the two of you are in this department because it’s the conversations that the two of you have – and not your sexual attraction or any other factor – that will largely determine if the relationship will last or fizzle out over the course of months or even years. Think for a moment about where you would place yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 in the intellectual department.Don’t focus on what you imagine or know your IQ to be.
Now before you decide that you hate me, I’d like you to consider two things: First, does that description remind you of any of the men you’ve dated in the past? On the other you get a narcissistic, difficult, self-obsessed, coldly logical man who is much more concerned with ideas than feelings, and much more concerned with himself than with you.
"I need my man to be less smart than me," says one 27-year-old woman, who jokingly says she thinks the smarter partner controls the relationship.
"If he can outsmart me, then he could squash my ability to sneak things under his nose!
She's not the first and hardly the only woman to express a similar sentiment: Some women need a challenge, a man who encourages her to be her fastest, smartest self.
"We've all heard the sentiment that when passion fades, you need something else to keep your spark alive," says a 23-year-old friend.
(My mother told me mine when I was a teenager, and I have always wondered if that was a good or bad idea!