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Follow the adventures of Loopy Lisa21f, a young, soon-to-qualify primary school teacher, as she bats off potential suitors from all 4 corners of the wwweb with stories of her bad friend Craig, her unhinged father and some extraordinarily badly-lit, unflattering photos.

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(Hook:) I'm Searching for my Zodiac sign, I'm on the chat line And Sex is on my mind I'm Searching for her on e-Bay (e-Bay) (x2) (Spectacular:) Capricorns and Aries So juicy like chocolate covered Cherries Brazil wax on that monkey never hairy Make her hit a high note like Mary... Blige I'mma freak and don't know why Clothes off heels on always shy Take this saddle off this horse Jump on top and baby ride September, I'mma Virgo, just in case you don't know Play you like Nintendo Baby I'mma Nympho (Baby Blue:) I'm looking for a Zodiac Lover Kodak that's sexy undercover Girl let 'em take naughty pictures and then send to me by e-mail I'm Baby Blue WHOA!

Lick 'em high lick 'em low Super freaky Leo, hit 'em then I'm gone Loving all night long, to a Pretty Ricky song Love the Capricorns, 'cause they stay so horny Sex in the morning, sex in the evening All night longing and longing and longing, We boning And I love them Virgos, 'cause they keep it on the down low So I might go down low, if she keeps it on the down low You already know, so let's go!

(SPOKEN:) We Can Do it Microsoft 'Cause I Have That Hard Drive Turn Me On and Get Computer loving all Night Girl I Bet You Online Now You On My Laptop (Laptop!

where he stands on this," Mr Keating told the Sunday Independent yesterday.

He described the adverts, depicting a young woman on a bed dressed only in her bra and knickers, as "immoral".

For a start, nearly all of them are illiterate and many do not have even a basic knowledge of human anatomy.

Thankfully, Loopy Lisa21f is not one of those people.

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